Miracles and Thanksgiving

Hola and hurray for time to get things together this weekend! :-)

I hear that the WildCats won last night, GO CATS!

It's been a long and challenging week, but the Lord has seen me through it. Whew. Wipe sweat off forehead now. 

Last Sunday I had to return my old car ("Blueberry" or "Ghetto") to my dad. I was very upset because we had our open house at church and I would not be able to attend, but it was one of those "feisty" moments for him, so I did not see any way around it. I did not want to have to hear cursing directed at me or anything of the sort, so I went ahead and drove to southern Atlanta. The whole time I had some great prayer time with the Lord, and I also had to pray to be delivered. As many of you know, I got a new car because this particular car was literally falling apart around me. I prayed constantly for the gas to be like the oil in the temple. . .it seemed like there was some sort of leak. About 40 miles out, we (Leigh Ann and I) had to stop so I could get gas. I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. When we got to the meeting place, I pulled into the parking lot and started moving things to Leigh Ann's car. My dad came over and looked at the front left part of the car. At some point in the final 40 miles, my tire blew. Interstate driving is fast. Logically, my car should have suffered some great explosion and spun me around on the road to crash.

God said no. I cried.

As I said earlier, I had prayed for safety in relation to the gas and the shaking of the car. . .I did not even think to pray for the tires. God protects us even when we do not know that we are in danger. Wow.

I thank Him for that great blessing and so many others. He is awesome.

This week was good as well, I have to say. My students did very well with the substitute teacher we had on Tuesday while I was at a workshop, and for that, I am very thankful. Sometimes, for my students, a change in routine can become very, very stressful for them. Fortunately, this did not happen. No one had a seizure, no one got "feisty," and everyone made it home safe and sound. 

I had my very first IEP meeting on Thursday and I am almost completely done with my students IEP. Wow. All week I just prayed and prayed that it would go well, that the parents would agree with our suggestions for the child, and that everything would be done ethically and legally. 

At 6:02pm on Thursday, the meeting was over (2.5 hours, yes, it was lengthy), and the Lord had answered those prayers. Being a first-year teacher, you really want that first meeting to go well. It was very encouraging. I need that encouragement because my position is very isolated. If you work in a self-contained special education classroom, there is not much interaction with others. There are not many opportunities to be encouraged or encourage others outside of your classroom. While in some ways this is good--I am really getting involved with my kids and parapros--this can also be a huge challenge because I often do not receive much encouragement. 

Upon praying about this situation, the Lord has been very gracious to me. When expressing my feelings to Him, He encourages me. In addition, there are usually a few times a week when He gives me something/someone to encourage me and spur me on to doing the work He has laid out for me before time began. These encouragements may come from a co-worker, a student, a principal, or a parent. God knows what I need to keep going.

Phil. 1:20-26:

"20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me."

As usual, Paul hits my sentiments right on. It would be FAR EASIER to not do this thing I have been called to do. It would be FAR EASIER to give up on some days. It would be FAR EASIER to not try and put together meaningful lessons for my students. And boy, what an amazing feeling it would be to BE WITH CHRIST. To feel that peace, that joy, that love, that compassion. FAR EASIER.

But just as it was for Paul, it is NECESSARY to press on. It is NECESSARY to continue these works God has prepared in advance for me to do. 

In addition, it gives me joy to press on. Joy to continue. And joy to know that Christ is who gives me my strength. Because of this job, I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE but to run to God. He understands every situation I am in. Christ experienced all things. He knows that sometimes, I may not have joy. I may just be walking in obedience with Him. However, He spurs me on and gives me joy each morning. I am thankful that there is grace. . .so thankful. 

Heb. 4:14-16:

"14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,^[a] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

When I feel weak at work, I know that I can run to Christ. I know that I can talk to Him because He has experienced the very same feelings I have. Christ has cried with compassion, Christ has been hurt and scorned by others, Christ has experienced these things and FAR WORSE. WITHOUT SIN. WITHOUT DOUBTS. WITHOUT HUMAN WEAKNESS. WITHOUT COMPLANING. WITHOUT QUESTIONING. WITHOUT DOUBTING GOD'S CALLING AND GUIDANCE. 

I have human weakness. I cannot always continue on like Christ. And I certainly cannot do anything without Christ. Each day is a battle. A battle against Satan, a battle against sin, a battle against myself, a battle against sin, a battle against control, a battle against worry, a battle against giving up, a battle against the unknown, a battle against the known. And more. 

BUT LORD MAY I APPROACH THE THRONE OF GRACE. . . .MAY YOU CONTINUE TO BE WITHIN ME, GIVING ME POWER, SHOWING ME GRACE, IN MY TIME OF NEED. I know that this is how God works because I see it. May God continuously dwell in me and lead me on.

I really feel God's peace at work, for the most part. There are always times of stress (daily, oh yes), but my prayer for my year is to NOT stress out to the extreme about things that I cannot control. I do my job with whatever strength the Lord gives to me each day, and I try to listen more to God than to myself and my own intentions. If that means that I go down the hall and talk to another teacher for 2-hours, so be it. If that means I work on things for the classroom for 2-hours, so be it. I want badly to have the intentions of the Lord. They definitely do not always match, but I pray that my wishes will continue growing closer and closer to God's wishes each day.  

Col. 3:15:

"15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."

I pray that I will not take my God for granted.

Flexibility. That's a word that we use all the time, especially in special education. Sometimes, my daily lesson plans are pushed to the side. My flesh says--argh, stick to the schedule! But God places in my heart: DEAL WITH WHAT HAS JUST AROSE! I WILL HELP YOU! I WILL KEEP YOU CALM! If you know me, you know that this is a huge challenge for me. I like schedules, I like order, and being flexible will always be a challenge for me. 

I have seen the Lord at work in my life because I see that I am continually changing. Since becoming a Christian, wow, have I changed. Age 15 seems so long ago. . .and I thank the Lord that over the years, I have grown into a different person. My sanctification is a continuous process, one that I love to be able to see because I want to change. I want to be more like Christ. 

I have daily schedules because I know that to do my job with excellence, I must prepare my heart and mind daily to serve my students to the fullest. However, I am more capable of changing these schedules at the "drop of a hat." This Thursday, I had to go over my classroom rules for AN HOUR. That is so much instructional time it's crazy to comprehend. However, God helped me understand that without doing this, we would lose ever more instructional time dealing with later behaviors. 

Ps. 46:1:

"1 God is our refuge and strength, 
       an ever-present help in trouble."

How true is this? God is the only way. 

He is an ever-present help, even when I don't know what to ask for, who to ask for help, or what to do to best serve others.

I pray that the Lord will continue to guide me and that I will follow willingly without complaint. Lord, I love your love.

New experiences. . .daily

Hola!

 

So tomorrow our school system ceases because of Tropical Storm Fay. That is so weird to me. I remember the snow days of my childhood. . .now we have "rain days" or "hurricane days." 

I had an all-day workshop, so I wasn't going to get to see my kids anyway. Tomorrow is a work day for me--I brought home tons o' things to keep me busy.

My kids are the funniest things on the planet. 

Apparently, they think I am funny. One died in a fit of laughter this afternoon because I told her that some of the boys in gym were running "at a slow walk." Wow. She almost fell off her walker.

We also do the funky chicken in class. Especially on Fun Friday. One of my students does the "samba" and she throws herself back so I can catch her. It's HI-larious. 

Today we had our first seizure of the year. I was thankful to have two others in the room to help because my kids are as big or bigger than me this year. He was really stiff--it was a rough one. We made it through.

I am appreciative of involved parents. 

All of my kids made A's on the first spelling test--we had it yesterday. :-) It was great to tell them they ALL made A's. My grading scale is based on a curve that I have invented. I will never give lower than a B on anything. Most things depend on effort and participation. I love helping kids succeed.

Next week I get to have my first ever IEP meeting. It will be exciting. :-) 

I love my job. Even in the crazy times. I love that I have new friends to encourage. I pray that I will live each day as if it were my last day. You never know when it will be!

Praises in the storm

Matt. 5:43-48:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

**Lord, when people hurt my feelings, may I remember to forgive 70 x's 7. May I remember to love those who persecute me so that I can set an example for them. May I always be respectful of others and treat others lovingly and kindly, no matter what might happen to me.

Matt. 6:25-34:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

**When things are out of my control, may I forget them and not let them ruin another day. I will not always please everyone; I will not always have all of the answers; and I will certainly never have all of the right answers. 

Lord, I praise You for this hard day. Even in the confusion, I thank You for enabling me to have a Bible to read once I got home so that I could remind myself in your Word of what I need to do and how I need to deal with stress.

The stressors I expected are not present, and unexpected stressors are present. One can never be prepared. I thank You for showing me again that this is where I am supposed to be, that I cannot prepare myself, and that I need You and Your guidance here now more than ever before.

I love You. 

PS: I STILL love my job, I still love my students, and I KNOW that the Lord is leading me. Nothing can separate me from the LOVE of Christ.

My first week of school. . .

Just wanted to write a quick update before I jump on the ball for today! 

So far, I LOVE MY JOB. Even though I am thoroughly exhausted each day, and even though we have some extremely stressful things happen, it is still the most wonderful thing on the planet. I am so thankful for the awesome co-workers the Lord has given me. There are two instructional teachers down the hall and I immediately pinpointed them as people who would help me. I asked for dry erase boards for my class--they gave me a whole set. . .and the erasers and markers to go with it! I also borrowed some manipulatives to make math more enjoyable for the students. 

Yesterday started off rough. . .one of my students uses a walker and as she was being lowered to be from the bus, her walker collapsed and she fell. I caught her right before her back and head hit the side of the bus, but I was hot for a minute. I tested the walker and found out that it collapsed because someone didn't check to make sure it was snapped out. :-( I sent special instructions to the transportation office via the principal, so it should not happen again.

That was extremely stressful. We have a great nurse, and she made me have a seat until I had taken a breather. 

God brought it back from that point, however. He didn't leave me in a stressful day, and for a little while I had to make myself smile. 

Then one of my students told me I was the best teacher he'd ever had. The day before, I had to conference with him twice because he showed some attitude and that doesn't fly with my classroom rules. He told me that yesterday he "Had his smile back on his face and he had a good day." 

My job is hard. . . .but when I hear things like that, that is all the payment I need. I may not be able to help these kids achieve every goal their parents want them to achieve, but I know that by trying my hardest every day, I really can make a difference in how they feel.

The Lord brings me encouragement EVERY SINGLE DAY before the day is over, whether it is encouragement from a student, from someone achieving a goal, from a co-worker, or from a parent. 

After a week, I can already see people changing. I hope that the rest of the year will be this wonderful.

From what I hear, if you make it through the first week alive, you're going to be okay. :-) 

As one of my students would say, ROCK AND ROLL, BABY! 

Wow, exhaustion strikes!

Wow. This week was a bit insane for me. Lots of things that weren't on the "schedule" happened at school. . .lots of paperwork I didn't know about. . .many things. 

But you know what? After my first day of teaching (which lasted from 6:58am when I stepped on campus until 8:30pm when I left), I STILL WANT TO DO THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING. 

The first half of my day was hectic. Kids were MIA and our buses ran SUPER late, so breakfast didn't happen until nearly 9:45. 

I didn't get to actually work with the kids in my classroom until after lunch because there were other things that had to be taken care of. After lunch, I finally got to work on assessing and observing my students. I have plenty to add to my notes when I get to the school today. I have so many levels! What a challenge! 

I learned SO much on my first day of work. . .I'm thankful for the rough patch. Let's just say that I know from personal experience that I'm someone who learns from the hard times and the trials. Sometimes, there are things you learn just by being pushed out of the nest. Here I am. I'm ready to learn the rest of what they can't teach me in graduate school.

I have good co-workers to help when I have questions, I have great parapros, and most importantly, God is giving me the strength I need to get through each day. 

Here are my "STRENGTH VERSES" for the year:

1. Phil. 1:27, 28a:  "Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents."

2. 2 Tim. 1:7: "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

3. Rom. 12:9-11: "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."

4. 1 Tim. 4:12: "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

Well, it's been an experience thus far. . .and I know it will continue to be an experience. We'll see what happens.

Thankfulness

I am thankful for:

1. Good parent meetings. I WANT parents to be INVOLVED! What a huge blessing!

2. MY STUDENTS. Wow, Friday can't get here soon enough. They are the reason why I can focus. Thinking about their faces motivates me to do these things. God has placed them in my heart, one by one. I can't wait.

3. Good meetings with parapros. What a blessing to have a great first meeting of the year! Thank you Dr. H. for giving me additional practice in speaking with parapros! 

4. Desks. Yay, each child gets a desk! Now I just need to take down one table!

5. Grade-level textbooks. Thank you Mrs. P and Mrs. R! :-) Wow, now I have PLENTY of info. to modify!

6. The song, "Sing to the King." It encourages me EVERY morning. :-)

7. Jesus wins. Jesus is King. Jesus strengthens me . . .because it's easy to beat yourself up. But you know what? He picks you back up, strengthens your weak knees, and gives you the power to RUN!

8. Coffee. MMM.

9. Post-its, supplies, and colorful pens. NOT RED. So discouraging. 

10. My mentor teacher and her willingness to help me as she can. :-)

Okay, gotta get ready. It is about to be another BUSY day!! 

Later I'll tell you the four verses I'm thankful for that I've claimed for the year! 

School is beginning. . .

Wow. Tomorrow begins a year-long trek for me. . .my first year of teaching. 

As many of you know, I am going to be teaching special education at a local middle school. I have seven students ranging from 6-8th grade. Now don't go into convulsions. . .middle school isn't that bad. However, I totally get where you're coming from (if you're one of those people thinking: WHY WOULD YOU VOLUNTEER TO WORK WITH KIDS IN SUCH AN AWKWARD STAGE??!?). Not so many months ago, I did not see myself teaching middle school. I was (and still am) in love with preschoolers. . .three is my favorite age. I just love kids. 

The truth of the matter is, this was for God. I didn't randomly choose to take a job working at the middle school. It's amazing that it was given to me; God was certainly in charge the whole time.

During my interview, I remember the principal telling me that ten years ago, he interviewed a teacher much like myself: young, full of passion and ideas, fresh out of college. At that point, I thought he was going to turn me down . . .maybe let me down gently. However, he looked at me and said, "I've never regretted that decision, and I'm willing to make the same decision now. I want to see what you can do." I think there was some shock at that point. In my mind, I was thinking I was about to be gently let down. God had other plans in store, and I thank Him for reaching out to that principal.

I can already see a multitude of opportunities in front of me. I've already been extremely busy (and we haven't even gotten started yet!), but it is (and will be) worth it. From the people I've met, the mentor teacher I've been given, and the opportunities that my students are going to have for the first time, I know I am going to be fulfilled at this job. 

A friend at church said to me today: "This is when you need the Holy Spirit right there beside you--school's starting!" 

Oh yes. God has seen this woman thus far, and HE will continue to do so. When I am ill-prepared, God will give me the knowledge I need. When I am exhausted, He will give me rest. When I run out of supplies, He will fill my cup. When I feel inadequate, He will remind me that it's not me, it's Him who does all of the talking. 

I pray to glorify the Lord in all that I do, one step at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time. 

God has me at the foot of Mount Sinai. He has me close by, close enough to hear His voice, close enough to hear His commands, but far enough away so that I might not die through viewing His glorious face. 

God knows that I need help. He knows that I need someone to equip me. The Holy Spirit is doing that in me, one day at a time. 

So if you think of me, writing my lesson plans about the geocentric theory and the Aztec Indian empire, please pray for the Lord to move mightily in me. May I not work in my own strength--may I only rely on the strength that comes from the Lord. 

John 3:30:

"He must increase, but I must decrease."

I'm excited!