Prayer, Dependence, and Praise

Oh Lord, I pray that I will praise you in this storm. I thank you for giving me the courage and strength to take a stand in the midst of the issue. May I continue to act in a manner that is fully pleasing to You. May my patience continue strong, and may I never give an inch to the enemy. 

Please guide Your child and help me to take the path that is right and based upon biblical truths. May I not compromise You, my belief in You, my belief in truth, and my belief in love for all people.

I thank you and I praise You for making me see this trial in perspective. May I maintain composure and not become obsessive over the issue in general, but may my heart depend on You and Your perfect peace and power. 

Thank you for giving my heart peace. Perfect peace. 

Please help me to persevere against the enemy and against the flesh within. I do not want to give up. Without Your guidance and help, I will cave in. I pray that You will give me the strength I need to do what I must do based on what You and You alone lead me to do.

I thank You for this day, for Your Word, and for letting it be well with my soul. :-)

Projectile Vomit?

My poor kids have been falling off like squished mosquitos this week. . .yikes. 

We've had two massive vomit-covered days this week, and I am praying against this evil stomach virus. I am so thankful to have stayed well this far. I am praying that the Lord keeps me well. The kids don't deal well with the change of having a stranger in the room. :-/ 

Either way, we'll make it.

Today we went bowling. I have never seen kids get so excited about bowling. This is another reason why I am so thankful for my students. They do not take things for granted. It was like we were on a trip to Disneyland to eat breakfast with the whole crew of Disney characters! They had such a great time. Quotes of the day, "You are swingin' that ball!" "You go girl, be the Queen!" and "I'm smokin'!" 

:-)

The week has flown by! We have a workshop Friday, and I hate to miss the kids, but I am trying to remind myself that I will get an extra hour and a half of sleep!

I am trying to plan an AWESOME field trip. . .I will tell you if it is approved! <><

Daniel & Esther. . .surviving this world

So we're studying Esther in "big church" (wooooo, I love the OT!) and Daniel in our women's Bible study right now. I am very excited about this because both of these books are so encouraging for we who are called to be "in the world, but not of it." We are called to let out lights shine to men so that we may bring glory to our Father in heaven.

In the book of Daniel, Babylon is seen as a city that is focused a little on everything the world sees as "good and pleasing". . .everything except God. Living in a place like that can pull a believer further and further from God. . .putting focus on self and others.

I don't know about you, but at work, I have to fully lean on my Jesus to be able to stay focused on eternal things. It is exhausting, draining, demanding, and trying. The war against the world, Satan, and myself is going on daily, right here where I live. 

Sometimes people only think about those who work overseas needing to worry about "staying strong" against battles. I think that each of us must rely on the Lord to stay strong in those daily battles. While Esther had a whole flock of Jewish people depending on her, I am certain that each person has at least one person depending on him or her. Even when Esther feared for her own death, she told the people to fast and pray. She struggled to keep her eyes on God during the tough times. While my battles are nothing in comparison with her, I still find myself somewhere in that story. 

The battles against myself are usually very interesting. It's when I take my eyes off the Lord and say, "Man, I would love to stay home today" that things get crazy. It's at those times when I have to read my strength verses for the year or flip to my now well-worn pages of Philippians to find the verses of promises and encouragement that I need. GET UP AND MOVE IT, YOUNG LADY! While the Lord may not use those exact words, He does lovingly remind me that work isn't something I am doing for myself or of any power within. Quite honestly, as the days go by, I see how little I truly have to offer without that Holy Spirit (inside my carcass--lol). Middle school was not my choice. Special Education was not my choice. Both were pre-planned, and I trust that whoever/whatever I am there for, the Lord will work me into those places.

The battles against man also drive me to reading Philippians. . .as well as the Gospels. Christ fought MUCH GREATER battles than I fight. He was always successful and never fell into sin. People can be very discouraging. When I feel discouraged, sometimes I want to run away. It would be so much easier to not be in a certain place, to not talk to a certain person, to not call a certain parent, etc. It is definitely a tough battle, but I can't let myself run from those things. When I run, I am not solving the problem. I am inviting more.

In a world that tells me that I am unworthy if I do not meet the criteria for a certain list, my God tells me that even having that list is pointless. No matter what my plan is, things don't ever go down in that exact way. While I am not saying this to excuse myself from planning, I am saying this to say that I have learned that sometimes, the plan just needs to be thrown out the window. My best plans can be turned into tragedies (I've seen it happen) without God's assistance.

Since I'm now focusing on my life day by day, I pray that today the Lord would be active in my life. I pray that I will meditate on what He is teaching me, that I will be thankful for the promises He left for me in His Word, and that when I am afraid or intimidated, I will put my trust in Him. 

Daniel 1:8-10:

"8 But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. 9 Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel, 10 but the official told Daniel, "I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your ^[c] food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you."

I pray that when I am tested by the world, I will stand up as Daniel did in this passage and refuse to be defiled. May I rely on the Lord, not myself or others, to send me along the path I am meant to take. Because Daniel relied upon the Lord,

Daniel 1:20:

"20 In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom."

God has the power to do this, and all He asks for is belief. 

John 6:29:

"29Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."

HI-larity

Here are some funny things that have happened that I wanted to write down to commit to my memory. I want to remember the fun times!

1. My friend (who is 22) came to visit and do paper mache. . ."OOOOOHHHH, Ms. Rose, is that your daughter?" Yea. LQTM. These kids. 

2. Anytime I ask the rhetorical question "And you know what?", one of my students says, "What?" It's just the way she says it. 

3. When we talked about asteroids, one of my kids was in TV land. We try to encourage him to come out and play with the real people occasionally. "Will that come and blow up the Earth?" "No, but it made a good movie." 

4. We're reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Before we started, we previewed the story. I showed them pictures from the movie and we watched the movie trailer. One of the pictures was of Aslan--the front of the DVD, for those who have it, I do believe. One of my students says (with big eyes), "That lion is lookin' at me." The next day, Friday, she told our ILT's during the picnic that the lion was looking at her. Then I had to explain the situation. It was so funny.

5. We had a picnic yesterday. We also had a dance party. Our principal came in and danced with us. One of my para's took some pictures of it, so yesterday afternoon, we printed off one of him doing the robot and taped it on the door to his office. :-) Hehe. "CAUGHT IN THE ACT!!"

6. "WHAT?!?!?!" You just have to come visit. You'll understand.

7. One of our ILT's came and gave out notebooks to my students. The girls all got Hannah Montana. One student jumped up and down for 5 minutes, literally about the notebook. We didn't get much done in science that day. 

8. During a music break, one of my students fell to the ground and spun herself around, pretending to play the guitar. Wow. 

9. "It's on my hands!!!" The boys freaked out when we did paper mache. . .but the girls were elbow deep in glue and water!

10. The first time I snorted. . .apparently, snorting is the funniest thing on the planet to middle school students. . .and paraprofessionals. One of my students almost fell out of her chair.

We have the best time in the room. I love my job even when things get crazy and discouraging. When that happens, I try to focus on the funny, wonderful things that have happened so far. :-) It's a blessing to be a teacher. 

1 Peter 3:8-17

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, 
   "Whoever would love life 
      and see good days 
   must keep his tongue from evil 
      and his lips from deceitful speech. 
 He must turn from evil and do good; 
      he must seek peace and pursue it. 
 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous 
      and his ears are attentive to their prayer, 
   but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."

Lord, I pray that I will continue striving to do good and not evil. May my attitude and heart be under the full influence of the Holy Sprit; He Who guides me. May my heart not be troubled in times of trials. May I depend solely on You for my strength. Even in my discouragement, may You allow me to cleave to You in utter dependence. 

Thank You for my students. When others discourage me, they are what I need to get motivated yet again. I praise You for the good days and the bad. . .because without bad days, the good days just wouldn't be SO good. :-)

Why am I so itchy?

The title of my blog may be an over share, but somehow, I have been eaten alive by bugs. . .or I have a weird case of hives. I really don't know. All I know is that I want to claw my right leg off. Hmmmm.  I think I need that leg.

I had a couple of rough days this week. Yesterday, I had to cry it out for a bit. Sometimes you just have to do that. Then I reminded myself of all of the hilarious and awesome things my kids do. :-) I just love them. None of the drama or issues actually come from my students. It's all of the other people. Too much drama. 

However, today was a great day. The kids did well, some of the drama ceased. 

Sweet anti-itch cream. Thank you, Melissa. Whew. Please work.

Anywho, tomorrow we're having our super fun picnic. . .and it's early dismissal! I can FINALLY go downtown and purchase my car tag! I am thankful for that! :-)

I have tons of meetings over the next few weeks. . .but I am very thankful that after a bad day, the Lord shows me how good everything is.

Someone told me that my classroom was the "Disneyland of Special Education." I wasn't really sure how to take that. But on the positive side, I do try to keep things as entertaining as possible. Sometimes that involves me pretending to be a manta ray. . .sometimes a beaver. . . sometimes I sing answers. If someone walks in, oh well. At least I can laugh at myself. 

I thank the Lord each time I think of the people who encourage me and spur me on. Praise God for encouragement. :-)

Back to semi-attempting to do homework. That's another story altogether! <><

Whew

Whew. What a week. Even in its shortened state, the week was still really crazy! I have told a few people that I think the 3-day weekends mess me up more than they help me out. . .because when 5:30 am on Tuesday arrives, I am never prepared. :-D

This past weekend I programmed an AT device all weekend, which was great. I can't wait to see how my student uses it. I'm thankful I could help the parents out in some way.

My camera bid adieu to me on Monday at the Hill's home, and then gave it's last show on Wednesday. Now she is in the great beyond. . .no longer living the high life in my purse. It's a sad story. The lens just got all messed up and crazy, so now I'm going to be getting a new camera. A Rebel. That will be a new, enjoyable photography experience, but I hate that my good ol' camera won't be with me any more. 2.5 years is a long and meaningful relationship.

Enough about the camera.

Wednesday was hilarious. We made our paper mache solar system. My girls were elbow-deep in paper mache, but the boys were like, "EW, MY HANDS, I NEED TO WASH MY HANDS!" for the entire project. Now that was sad. They are going to have to get over that little quirk though. . .we still have to make a volcano. And rockets. And enact an earthquake. And lots of other messy things. Baha. I can't wait! 

Yesterday all of the new special education teachers had an all-day workshop--half at another school and half at the Central Office with our faithful leader. 

The afternoon was more helpful because it actually applied to us and our adapted curriculum. The morning was more about co-teaching and teachers who do pull-out separate class rather than full-day self-contained.

I went to Wal-Mart afterwards and purchase our new rug and bookshelf. WOO HOO! Now I just need books to go on it. That will be a groovy day! So far, I really don't have any appropriate books in the classroom. I'm working on that. 

I feel very blessed this week. Being a special education teacher is hard, but when I look at what others are going through, I am very thankful for the supportive people I have at my school. The ILT's at my school are my friends--they come to my classroom and talk to my students. They are really the most wonderful people. They've loaned me materials and got me grade-level textbooks. I can't thank them enough. 

I am also very, very thankful that my students are going to Connections classes without too many people getting feisty. 

I have to get ready for next week today and tomorrow. . .interim report cards go out. We will see how this goes. I just pray that I make it to the end of the year with everyone alive. . .including myself! At least I have a super-groovy group of kids!

I will leave you on this note. . .I went and visited my little cream puffs from last year during my lunch break yesterday. They are doing SO GREAT! I mean, kids were talking, they were identifying items, etc. I am so proud. I love them. I miss those schmall little puffers!

Here is what my heart tells the Lord in exhaustion:

Psalm 42 (New International Version)

New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 byInternational Bible Society

    

Psalm 42

BOOK II : Psalms 42-72

 1

For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah. ^[a]

    "^[b] As the deer pants for streams of water, 
       so my soul pants for you, O God.

 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. 
       When can I go and meet with God?

 3 My tears have been my food 
       day and night, 
       while men say to me all day long, 
       "Where is your God?"

 4 These things I remember 
       as I pour out my soul: 
       how I used to go with the multitude, 
       leading the procession to the house of God, 
       with shouts of joy and thanksgiving 
       among the festive throng.

 5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? 
       Why so disturbed within me? 
       Put your hope in God, 
       for I will yet praise him, 
       my Savior and 6 my God. 
       My ^[c] soul is downcast within me; 
       therefore I will remember you 
       from the land of the Jordan, 
       the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

 7 Deep calls to deep 
       in the roar of your waterfalls; 
       all your waves and breakers 
       have swept over me.

 8 By day the LORD directs his love, 
       at night his song is with me— 
       a prayer to the God of my life.

 9 I say to God my Rock, 
       "Why have you forgotten me? 
       Why must I go about mourning, 
       oppressed by the enemy?"

 10 My bones suffer mortal agony 
       as my foes taunt me, 
       saying to me all day long, 
       "Where is your God?"

 11 Why are you downcast, O my soul? 
       Why so disturbed within me? 
       Put your hope in God, 
       for I will yet praise him, 
       my Savior and my God."

And here is how God makes me react when I see His hand in my daily life. . .when I see how much He helps me. . .when I recognize His grace, kindness, guidance, and caring Spirit: 

Psalm 100 (New International Version)

New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 byInternational Bible Society

    

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving thanks.

 1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

 2 Worship the LORD with gladness; 
       come before him with joyful songs.

 3 Know that the LORD is God. 
       It is he who made us, and we are his ^[a] ; 
       we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving 
       and his courts with praise; 
       give thanks to him and praise his name.

 5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; 
       his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Thank You, Lord, for getting me through another week!