Never more than we can handle. . .

God is just so amazing to me. . .at such a "rock and a hard place" time in my life, I could be in a dark, scary place all the time. Believe me, there have been two REALLY HARD days for me since all of this crazy eyeball-headache-vertigo mess had been going on. . . but God didn't let me stay there.

When I became a Christian nearly ten years ago, the first thing I read was Psalm 40. GOD HAS LIFTED ME OUT OF THE MIRY PIT AND HE HAS SET MY FEET UPON THE SOLID ROCK. . .HE HAS PUT A HYMN OF PRAISE IN MY MOUTH. . . .HE WILL EXALT ME OVER THE ENEMIES (even myself) AND WILL CONQUER!

God loves me too much to leave me in a state of dark, dreary, sadness. I cannot miss what "could have been" because if I am truly born again, I understand that God's plan IS BETTER THAN MY PLAN. None of this was in my plan. I want to teach, to change special education for the better, to bless and help others, to use service and loving to bring others to see the love of Christ. But look at what I have now. . .was that my plan? No. But I know God because He's been my dad for awhile. And if I trust in Him and remember the blessings of old, I will remember that God's plan is ALWAYS better than my own.

Did I plan to get married? Nope. Single. Taiwan. No boys. But now look what I have. . . .the best husband a woman could ever desire, a marriage where my husband is a true representation of how Christ loved the church, despite all of her "irrational, realistic, stubborn" ways. . . .and really, I'm talking about myself. On top of that, now I get to live in Seattle for the current time and this place is a city that I love. I love the people, I love where God has us. I love things that we have been blessed with here.

Did I plan immediately to be a special education teacher? No. I will be a lawyer. I will defend the helpless and abused. But look what I have now. . . .a desire and passion to help those in society who are MOST OFTEN abandoned, abused, and unloved. I can speak for those without words. This is a huge responsibility that is a little scary because God gave it to me and told me "not thy will, but my will. . ." and here I am. What a huge blessing it is to be reminded of how awesome it is to be able to do simple things. My students teach me more than I teach them most days. And now I have my own disability. I write to you squinting with tingly fingers. . .what is this a new challenge?

This us what God has shown me. . .that He will never leave me, forsake me, or stop blessing me. If that is true, then my new disability is a blessing. It willl give me the ABILITY to follow the path God has in store for me. I know that without this "disability," I can no longer follow God's path for my life. This is something HE has allowed to happen to me because this is a journey He has created for me.

And the best part is. . .I have people that God has specifically placed to be with me during this part of my journey. I have my husband who reminds me that the dark place is not okay when I do go there. He lifts me up, reads to me, reminds me of Job and others who have lost way more than me. I have a new friend who God specifically gave to me on Sunday to get me in to the best hospital in the nation (according to the news) THIS WEEK. While other doctors told me to wait and no one gave us answers, I feel certain that the uncertainty is about to be over. On top of that, this new friend has a similar health condition. Who better to bring alongside me than someone who has literally been where I am right now? GOD IS SO GOOD. I do not deserve this. I do not deserve to be this blessed. Because I understand that my salvation is based on faith and not works, I can believe that God does this. I can believe that God will make a path greater than I could ever imagine on my own. I can believe in the LOVE He lavishes upon me. And I can rest assured that He will see me through until the end. He will see me through until it is my turn to be glorified and never see another needle again.


My heaven is a place without needles.


What about you? I hope that you also have a love story so great as this. But unlike most love stories, mine will never be finished. My love story is one that extends past time because to God, time is pretty much pointless. And I can rest in the fact that my love story is one that leads me to prosper and not perish. . . .walk and not grow weary. . . .run the race and receive the crown of glory. Only God can write one like that.