What happened last month....

Wow, it is already JUNE!~ And literally, I just typed "May" and had to delete it. I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by.

Last time I wrote, we were "moving"....now as I write we are "living" in the house we have grown to love. We have been there a month--can't believe it! I have refinished wooden furniture for the first time, cleaned clumps of disgusting cat hair out of nooks I didn't know could contain cat hair, made jewelry hangers, scrubbed soap scum to the high heavens, grilled out, gardened, fallen in love with inanimate objects (a food processor and espresso maker, to be exact), and had a blast nesting. Goodwill here is amazing....the finds I have found!! :)

It was also one of the hardest months of my life. It is inevitable that each year, I have at least one student who is "extra super needy"...child services get involved....things get ugly fast....and before you know it, I can't sleep because of the worrying.

It's not good. It's one of my many flaws. But at least I recognize it as so (now)...not one sparrow falls to the ground apart from the Father knowing...and He knows my needs, my students' needs, their parents needs, everything.

But OH ME OF LITTLE FAITH....(note pun on "Ye of little faith")....

How quick I am to depart from what I know to "what I think I know better..."

I can't be everyone's mom; it isn't feasible. While we were ready to step up to foster these kids, legally, family "gets first dibs." So again, here I am in this rough position where I constantly find myself....being refined in the fire to TRUST in God's plan for this "terrible situation" I see before me.

I am right where I need to be.

Between THE ROCK and a "hard place."

So many jagged edges, I'll never get out....but while I'm here, I think I should start listening harder to the Maker who smooths out all my rough edges.

"Let me help"

"Let me hold"

"Let me carry"

"Let me work"

"STOP."

That last one is the hardest. I can't stop. It isn't a concept that I've learned to proclaim yet...."I need rest!" "It isn't my worry!" "I need a break!"

Instead, I cry, "I can't take a break! What might happen?"

But that is where I am wrong.

While no one can "replace" a person, there is Someone who is way better than a "replacement"...in fact, He is the perfect solution to every situation! He knows what is best! He knows what we need!

And you know what?

He gives it to us, even when we are too stubborn to take it easily.

So now I am letting go of this situation.

I can only do my best to love; I am not a part of this "solution."

When times get rough, I need to get to my knees....not to really get to work scrubbing, cleaning, and fixing.....but to pray.

Because work and "trying" isn't the answer.

1 Peter 5:6-11:
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.