OH COME ON.....trying to stay patient

So, now I am starting to feel some anxiety in relation to my "eye problem."

I know what I have.

They say, "Oh, your sight will be back in no time!" Maintain your pirate status.

Both of my eyes are working normally independently of one another. . .but they won't work TOGETHER. TOGETHER, they give me headaches and make me vomit all night long. Who knew that your own body would turn on you like this? I guess I kind of did because I've had lots of medical problems my whole life....but before this I felt as though I was in my best health, having fewer problems than normal and being able to finally handle SOME fat-free dairy products without extreme discomfort. DO NOT count on things. DO NOT count on your tent. DO NOT be comfortable in the amount of vitamins and supplements you take. ONLY God is in control of your tent. He determines how many "outdoor outings" you can have in your tarp-like being before He takes you home. I now know that my vitamins may be good, but nothing in this life is guaranteed. My Vitamin-C will NOT keep me from getting a sore throat when my student sneezes in my face.....but sometimes it does! All this to say, the only thing 100% dependable is GOD's PRESENCE in a Christian's life.

**** ******** ********* ************* *****************************************

Three months of one eye only and you'll start to LOSE YOUR MIND. For so long, you can hold on to what people tell you will happen. But then....

It doesn't. The promises are untruths....not lies....but not things that I can depend on. Doctors hold no rule over my current predicament.

Patience is thinning in my court. I am fighting the thinning patience. . .but it is hard. I feel like this situation is at a plateau. . .now I would love to be healed. I would love to be "semi-normal" again. I want to wear contacts. My nose has permanent ridges....I am not a fan of glasses, so that has been quite a challenge. It's the little things. ;)

I want to drive. I want to run errands. I want to be able to do things outside my home and outside my very close by neighborhood. It's the domestic things.

Why is this continuing?

I have no idea.

Perseverance. I have to press on. I have to accommodate. I have to remember God's promises and remember that I am not alone. I have a God who already knows the outcome. I have a God who says, "Oh you of little patience and steadfastness." But I also have a God of GRACE AND MERCY who says, "Child, I know it is hard. But stay with me a little longer."

So now I simply pray that God will draw me to Him and His strength will be my own. I cannot do anything apart from the Lord. It is impossible. But with God....I can and will press on.

The day I can see again will be a great one...until then, "I'll have to muddle through somehow." (Yes, Christmas music can come in handy.)

Now I have to look to God to NOT let the frustrations and irritations take over.