1 Year Down

Whew. It's been a long road. A long road full of potholes that I just felt like I couldn't get out of!  Fortunately, God saw to it that I didn't stay and wallow in the mud pit--I finished the race....exhausted, but still finished.

The past month has been a true test of my faith. A multitude of new (often hurtful) challenges occurred one after the other. I kept waiting for a break in the storm, but the waves kept coming and knocking me further off course. 

Do you want to know what kept me from sinking into a permanent pit of despair? 

Psalm 94: 18, 19:

^"18 When I said, "My foot is slipping," 
       your love, O LORD, supported me.

 ¹⁹ When anxiety was great within me, 
       your consolation brought joy to my soul."

In the end, it was only God that was able to console me. When others couldn't understand, God had to pick me up. And He did. I am so thankful. I know that the storm will come again and that I will once again flounder in a sea of lies, but I know that in the end, my God reigns. My God stands up for His children. My God is a Lion and a Lamb. And He's what I need to depend on. 

Friends

S. is here, YES! :)

Today is the engagement party event--it's going to be lots and lots of people, but I think I can do it. 

I am excited to get to see everyone and have all but one of my bridesmaids in tow. :) It's hard to get 8 girls in one place at one time, especially with the busy lives we have. 

My final Capstone paper is due TOMORROW. Wow, it's really almost over, for real. Graduation is two weeks from YESTERDAY. That day is going to be the best day ever.

I just wish I could've graduated in December--it's going to be excruciatingly HOT! Hehe. 

Well, gotta get ready to head out for el church-o! 

Frustration and Pain

The week is not going great thus far--in fact, I have missed three days of work! It all started with the world's longest migraine, which then morphed into a 6-day (and counting) long bursitis and arthritis flare. I miss my students, I miss being able to sit up straight, and I miss being able to walk quickly up the stairs. 

It's funny the things you can miss--never thought I'd miss being able to haul taters up my twisted, curly, scary staircase. I do.

I feel pretty frustrated with my body right now because there is so much going on. Between work, school, other obligations, and wedding planning, I feel overwhelmed. 

I graduate on May 9th. I have never been so excited about anything in my whole life. If I can keep it together until then, I think I can make it through the rest of the year. 

It's the end of the year and people are trying to pile on more and more to my plate. Transition meetings with the parents of my new group of 6th graders, transition plans for current students moving to the high school, and trying to find administrators to attend these meetings is making life quite a challenge. 

Tomorrow is the opening (and closing!) of the play my girls are in. I have missed a whole week of practices and I feel terrible about it. . .but what can you do when your earthly tent throws in the towel on a still working brain and heart? Not a thing but stay at home, that's what. 

Stay at home, resting on the faith that I have that God can heal me and bring relief. . .resting on the peace of knowing that I have friends praying for me during this challenging time. . .that is what will get me though this. 

I am so proud of my students--they have changed SO much in a single year. They are older, wiser, and well prepared for a summer of learning at home (I hope!). I know of 2 more students who are moving into my room. . .that would certainly keep my numbers low! 

My current challenge is finding a photographer for the wedding who is not going to charge us over our estimated budget. Thus far, no luck. We will see what happens. 

Back to the resting of the joints--all this typing can't be a good thing! <><

Updates on a crazy woman's life!

It's been so long! 

Here's my list:

1. Just got engaged a little over 2 weeks ago; YEHAW! Really excited about it! I am getting married on Nov. 21, 2009! I AM PAST EXCITED!!!

2. 3.5 weeks until I graduate w/ my Master's! I am going crazy, but I am trusting God to get me through it! The actual date of graduation is May 9th!

3. 4.5 weeks until SMU gets married!

4. 6 weeks left with my students (May 22!)

5. 7 weeks TOTAL of work left to go until SUMMER BREAK! (May 28!! I got the last day off, mwahahahaa!)

6. 7 weeks until Austin gets married!

7. 8 weeks until I go and find my wedding dress!

8. 9 weeks until I go on an Assistive Technology Conference for my job to St. Simons!

9. 10 weeks until I take my girls on a shopping trip for flower girl dresses!

10. 12 weeks until I move into a house!

11. 17 weeks until my first week as a second-year teacher! :)

12. 222 days until I get married!

Encouragement, love God

Sorry, it's been a quick minute since I've blogged. Lots of things going on, trying to help friends with weddings (racking my brain about flowers and such, :), hehe), taking care of kids, lots of sitting in front of a computer, finally reading Wicked (very weird book, I must say--not what I was expecting), etc.

At the beginning of this week, I felt so discouraged. No time to rest, no time to be alone, all of my times with God involved me crying out to Him for encouragement and strength from above. . .it was hard to get up and ride off to the schoolhouse knowing I'd be there for such a long time.

I know some other very special people were praying for me in addition to my crying out, and I thank those wonderful people for doing that. Your prayers brought some wonderful encouragement this week.

We had a great week in my classroom. Lots of drama, but definite reassurance that I will never be able to leave my kids. Even though it's hard to press on, it's emotionally and physically draining, I know that for some students, I may be a part of the "safe haven" that they need.

This week, I had one of the most emotionally draining weeks of the job yet. I had to report things to DFACS, worry about one of my sweet treasures, and pray to God that she would not be harmed by the evil around her. This usually ecstatic child started coming to school weepy and not on the ball, which was very unusual. The case is active, the Lord is working. I trust that when I cannot protect her, He will. 

I think about one of my favorite songs, "Faithful," when I look back on the week that has passed me by. 

"Faithful, You are faithful

I have found nothing but good in Your heart.

Loving, You are loving,

I am in love with the way that You are.

Thankful, I am thankful,

I had been running away on my own,

And then You found me,

Oh, how You loved me,

I know You'll never, 

Leave me alone."

When I was discouraged this week, God really brought me encouragement. He spurred me on when I had grown weary of doing good. I wrote on my mirror "You are my JOY" to remind myself that when my joy feels sapped by work, it is not really gone. Not gone at all. 

God gave me encouragement through co-workers, through my students, through friends praying for me, and for my special friend (hehe) bringing me coffee to help me get through the day (more than once). 

I had a sub one day this week and it was all the encouragement I needed to hear her say how mch the kids had grown and matured over the past three months. Almost my entire class was able to label all the southeastern states AND the six parts of Georgia on the first try with no help. . .and to think that at the beginning of the year they could not name our state. I am so proud of them. They are learning so much and really growing up. I am praying daily to put my trust in God that He will provide for them when they leave my school and move on. Watching those kids do great things gave me back my joy. 

My sweet treasure brought me the first apple I've ever actually received as a teacher on Friday. It was so cute. Those are the things that God brought me to show me that I can't give up, that I must press onward, that I have to stay under His wing and stay strong. God will care for the apple of His eye.

Lord, thank You for this wonderful thing that you've given me. Thank You. 

James 1:22-27:

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."