Drama....something that should be left to high school, soap operas, and people who like it....but mainly, dependence

So my week was pretty filled with drama at work. Nothing I will talk about here because that would not be appropriate or professional, but it has been quite stressful. Something about teaching special education automatically leads to a multitude of issues that require teachers to climb the "ladder of command"....if only you're smart enough to figure out the right ladder of command!

I work for a huge school system--I used to call the special education director directly in GA....now I must twist my way through a spiral of others via email, search and rescue, and practically stalking! That's what really makes all the issues rough....not having a specific person to ask help from; missing that self-contained friend I have had in the past. At my school now, I am the only self-contained teacher. No one is "just like me." No one has exploding toilets, perseverating, and self-stim. Just me.

And I think that's the point

God has placed me in this new, challenging, frustrating time in my life to push me to conquer my inner sin, as well as the challenges that meet me outside of my own sinful flesh.

God wants my dependence.

I am alone on the job. There is no one "just like me" with all the "drama" that I can talk to.

God knows what He is doing, that's for sure. I am praying that I will give my burdens to the Lord the way He desires. It is a hard thing to do, especially since I like fixing things way too much.

The other thing I have had to continuously remind myself of this week: the good things that I can do for my students.

I will share a story with you about dependence. My students depend on me the way I wish I could depend on God.

As a class, we go swimming at a local community center pool once a week for adapted PE. Most of my kids are somewhat fearful (if not terrified) of water even though they have been participating in the swimming program for several years. Since I had lots of vision issues and sickness issues, I wasn't able to swim with my kids until this semester.

This past Tuesday, the adapted PE teacher wanted to evaluate each of my students one at a time to see how well they were swimming. I am asked for help from one of my students, and we swim back and forth across the pool several times. The student does a great job, but he wouldn't do it without me right in front of him coaching him.

My next student had missed the last several swimming lessons, and most of first semester's as well, so the teacher wanted to see how he would do. I said, "OK, S., let's swim!" and I held the board just as I had done for my previous student. The student made efforts to kick his legs and we were off, making little swirlies all around the pool. The teacher keeps yelling that the student is doing great so I keep him swimming for several minutes, continuing to coach. After awhile, I give the student a break and swim him to the side of the pool where the teacher is. The teacher says, "That is the first time S. has ever swam in this pool." I said, "Really? Not last year?" "No, he has never let anyone else hold the end of his kickboard before, so we could never help him swim."

I was floored. The teacher said, "You're the one. You're the only person he's ever trusted to help him do that."

When things got hard this week, I thought about that. I am the one that my students trust. They know I am not going to hurt them. They are the reason why I keep doing this job. It is hard, yes, but I know I can make a difference.

Then I helped my next student, who is non-verbal, who proceeded to nearly drown me, because he trusted me so much to keep him above the water.

Finally, I helped my last swimmer. He's a "wall hugger"--stays on the wall, doesn't want to swim in the deep end. When I got him off the wall and swimming, I was holding his right hand and coaching him while trying to not drown myself. While swimming, he said, "Mrs. S. will not let me go." So of course I said, "No, I won't let you go. You can do this!"

I wouldn't let him go. God won't let me go.

I gotta hold onto the good times....but more importantly, I gotta hold onto GOD and His protection and provision.

It's November, and there's much to be thankful for!

Wow, I cannot believe that the month o' turkey is here already! When I look back, it seems like school just started and it was just August yesterday. That is not the case. I've discovered that each year goes by faster and faster. The past 3 months have been a sprint. Let's see if I can make it to Thanksgiving. At least after this week the busy time for drama will be over. "Law and Order: Fairy Tale Unit" will be this Tuesday and Thursday. The teacher and I have created a back-up plan for my student, just in case the line doesn't quite come out. We will see what happens on Tuesday night. The line has not generalized over to the actual play. She knows the line in an isolated setting, but when we get in there with the other kids and costumes. . . .the need to laugh over another student dressed as a cow (who jumped over the moon) becomes to great to focus on anything else.

The girl's cow costume is actually extremely cute. The got a white sweatsuit and her mom sewed on black patches. She's even got tiny ears and a tail! :-)

My DynaVox conference was great, despite poor hotel service. It was great to meet other teachers in my position. The conference was based on implementing the device with the student. I will tell you that I have to spend a great deal of time helping him to communicate using the box instead of gestures and leading people to desired items. . .hopefully the ideas I got at the conference will help him become more independent. It's difficult to be the only adult who can assist him in using his AT device. 

I am excited about Thanksgiving. It's just around the corner. I am praying to get all my GAA write-ups done during the week off. We shouldn't have any grad school work either, so I think I can get it done.

One of my parapros (and her 2 kids) and I are going to have Thanksgiving together. I am so excited. :-) 

In other news, last day o' grad classes for the semester: December 8th!! I am anticipating the holiday season. . .a plan to go take pictures of some snow for my students has been formulating for awhile. The poor kids have never seen snow. That is deprivation. Snow is so beautiful. 

Back to Thanksgiving. Sweet taters, mmmmhmmm!

Things I am immensely thankful for:

1. My students

2. My co-workers

3. Friends & church family

4. The Bible and it's wisdom

5. God's guidance, even when I don't understand it

6. Sleep

7. Cool weather

8. Watches

9. Contacts

10. Comfortable walking shoes

11. The color brown

12. Grass

13. Thai food

14. Biscuits

15. Humor

16. Random trips we take to conferences with the low incidence program (we usually laugh a ton)

17. Binder clips

18. Stick glue

19. Colored paper

20. The value of Hershey's enabling me to use chocolate to teach fractions

21. Hand sanitizer

22. Febreeze

23. Toilet plungers

24. Fingernails

25. Sidewalk chalk

26. My car

27. Coffee

28. Granola bars and the ease of carrying my lunch

29. Music

30. Genius music mixer

31. The ability to think

32. The ability to express my feelings verbally

33. The ability to move quickly without any help

34. The ability to answer simple questions

35. The ability to button my pants on my own

36. The ability to take a bath on my own

37. The ability to stand up for myself

38. The ability to say "no"

39. The ability to hug

40. The ability to appropriately express my emotions

41. The ability to show love

42. The ability to drive

43. The ability to comprehend what others are saying to me

44. The ability to read

45. The ability to write

46. The ability chew and enjoy the food I eat

47. Patience

48. Important Bible Scriptures

49. The ability to continue my education

50. The ability to pay the bills and give to the church

. . . .there are more, but I am out of time now! I love writing these down because there are so many things I think of each day that I am thankful for that others cannot do/cannot comprehend/do not have/etc. Thank you, Lord!