A decade walking w/ Jesus

So yesterday marked one decade for me. To the day. Pretty crazy!

God has so much to refine in me....and in one decade, so many things have changed.

1. College degrees and career goals

2. From the desire of singleness to a wonderful marriage (God blessed me with a keeper)

3. From immediate travel to Taiwan to some sidetracking years (all in my best interest of course, just not "my plan"--at least now I have the best travel partner I could ask for!)

4. From the armpit of the south (with no deodorant on a 100+ day) to the scalp of the northwest, all driven in a huge Penske truck with my boo

5. From tan to pale (heehee...yes it is true)

6. Multiple friendships gained and released

7. Weddings

8. From long to short (hair)

9. From chapstick to chapstick (okay, some things will NEVER change)

10. From blindness to vision, vision to blindness (very interesting)

11. From purple to old blue to new white (cars)

12. From jeans and pjs to jeans and pjs (again, some things don't change)

13. From pink to brown (favorite color)

14. From extremely inappropriate rap music to Indie music (yes, it's true)

15. From my bday to my JESUS BDAY

16. From no helmet to helmet (thanks, good husband)

17. From the worst possible outcome to the best possible outcome (cross over, from death to life)


Well, it has been a trip and a half. And sometimes the changes are hard. Sometimes they are killer. But looking back from where I've come and looking ahead to where God is leading me....well, I think it's going to be a very worthwhile journey.


Thanks be to God for His mighty hand. He reached out to me. He called.

Maybe by my next decade we'll finally have those flying cars like on "The Jetsons...."

Christmas time is hereeeeee

Well, from November 1-December 31st, I become a Christmas music lover....a gingerbread house fanatic.....and a baking fiend.

Sometimes it happens in mid-October. That was this year.

I also become reminiscent about what I've come from....and where I'm going. For me, it's not about the presents. When we have kids, we won't talk about Santa. We won't load our tree with bow-covered gifts. We won't talk about shopping, shopping, shopping.

It's not about what you can get. The Black Friday great deals are not the focal point of the holiday.

Jesus. He's the pinnacle. He needs to be the focus. Yes, I do have a tree. Yes, I do love snowmen. But we really want to celebrate the birth of our Lord, the greatest gift, during this time of the year. I have to constantly remind myself of this, even though I have fewer distractions! AHH!

A stubborn person. Loves to bake too much. Sometimes forgets to truly listen to the words of the tunes I sing. All those Christmas hymns MEAN something.

I pray that my heart and my focus will be more on the celebration of Christ than on making food for people, which is one of my great joys in life, apparently. The way to ANYONES heart is through the tummy--this is not only true of men. ;)

Thank you for the greatest gift. Let that be my focus.

OH COME ON.....trying to stay patient

So, now I am starting to feel some anxiety in relation to my "eye problem."

I know what I have.

They say, "Oh, your sight will be back in no time!" Maintain your pirate status.

Both of my eyes are working normally independently of one another. . .but they won't work TOGETHER. TOGETHER, they give me headaches and make me vomit all night long. Who knew that your own body would turn on you like this? I guess I kind of did because I've had lots of medical problems my whole life....but before this I felt as though I was in my best health, having fewer problems than normal and being able to finally handle SOME fat-free dairy products without extreme discomfort. DO NOT count on things. DO NOT count on your tent. DO NOT be comfortable in the amount of vitamins and supplements you take. ONLY God is in control of your tent. He determines how many "outdoor outings" you can have in your tarp-like being before He takes you home. I now know that my vitamins may be good, but nothing in this life is guaranteed. My Vitamin-C will NOT keep me from getting a sore throat when my student sneezes in my face.....but sometimes it does! All this to say, the only thing 100% dependable is GOD's PRESENCE in a Christian's life.

**** ******** ********* ************* *****************************************

Three months of one eye only and you'll start to LOSE YOUR MIND. For so long, you can hold on to what people tell you will happen. But then....

It doesn't. The promises are untruths....not lies....but not things that I can depend on. Doctors hold no rule over my current predicament.

Patience is thinning in my court. I am fighting the thinning patience. . .but it is hard. I feel like this situation is at a plateau. . .now I would love to be healed. I would love to be "semi-normal" again. I want to wear contacts. My nose has permanent ridges....I am not a fan of glasses, so that has been quite a challenge. It's the little things. ;)

I want to drive. I want to run errands. I want to be able to do things outside my home and outside my very close by neighborhood. It's the domestic things.

Why is this continuing?

I have no idea.

Perseverance. I have to press on. I have to accommodate. I have to remember God's promises and remember that I am not alone. I have a God who already knows the outcome. I have a God who says, "Oh you of little patience and steadfastness." But I also have a God of GRACE AND MERCY who says, "Child, I know it is hard. But stay with me a little longer."

So now I simply pray that God will draw me to Him and His strength will be my own. I cannot do anything apart from the Lord. It is impossible. But with God....I can and will press on.

The day I can see again will be a great one...until then, "I'll have to muddle through somehow." (Yes, Christmas music can come in handy.)

Now I have to look to God to NOT let the frustrations and irritations take over.

Thanksgiving

In lieu of the day o' thankfulness (and turkey), it is time for another list. . .ah yes. Of course.

With a multitude of things to be thankful for, I will narrow my list down to 30. . .30 days of thanksgiving!

1. Salvation
2. Grace
3. My husband
4. The roof over my head
5. The food in my kitchen (especially soup!)
6. Warmth
7. Church
8. New friends
9. A job that pays the bills and lets us save
10. Paying of debts
11. Sweaters
12. Scarves
13. Boots
14. My soccer socks which are now coming in handy
15. Seattle
16. Pike Place Market
17. Seafood
18. Getting to eat out a few times a month (yessssss)
19. Snow
20. The salt truck (even though he just shot salt on me when I was walking)
21. A safe car
22. Co-workers
23. The really GREAT days with my students
24. Watching my students make progress
25. My husband's silly faces
26. Hugs
27. Felt tip pens
28. Vintage jewelry, amongst other vintage items
29. Hats that cover my ears
30.Apple

Okay, I couldn't do it. 30? I am going to have to move it on up. Maybe I can do 40....

31. Wind
32. All soy/rice/almond/hemp milk products
33. Peppermint mochas and other assorted holiday drinks
34. The ability to read and ENJOY it
35. The ability to speak about my Savior
36. The ability to sing about my Savior
37. Communion
38. Christmas hymns
39. Jesus' birthday cake
40. Gingerbread houses



You see? The list could go on, and on, and on....it's like the "song that doesn't end." There should never be an end to our Thanksgiving. Just tonight, I was blessed by lots of snow to walk in. I made a tiny snowman. I had a great time. God is so good to me!

God is great!

Truth

I like honest people.

I appreciate when someone tells it like it is.

I don't want a pretty picture...I want the TRUTH.

I want to say, "I promise, I can handle it. . .because I have Jesus and I want to help you see Him, too. . .so please, be honest."

In my personal life, I love honesty. In my work life, I love honesty. I appreciate when people are honest about who they are, what is going on, what they need prayer for, why they feel sad, etc. Just because we have Jesus doesn't mean we should walk around with smiles plastered on our faces. Just because we are teachers and "role models" doesn't mean that we have to fake it. So in my daily walk, I am honest with others about how I feel. Sometimes I think that this throws people off. "I feel frustrated." ?!?!?!?!?! "You're not just fine?" . . ."I feel proud because my kids' parents read the note home!" "Whoa, that's too much information." I do not say this because I feel like people don't listen, or for any other reason except to say. . .I encourage others to really tell me how they feel.

In other cultures, if you ask someone how they are, you really want to know. I like this.

But if people respond with the truth I have witnessed that others find this shocking. . .both in my observations and in my personal experience, people ARE NOT USED TO HEARING THE TRUTH. Hmm. Maybe it is just because I am usually meeting new people, people I have not been around forever.

People stay at this shallow level.

And I think this is something that I need to be aware of to make a difference; to show people Christ.

Jesus cared about the inside of the cup, not the outside.

He cared about the heart, not the hairstyle.

I have to be able to show them 1) I am listening; I do want the truth, 2) The truth is okay, 3) Love/support/friendship is not dependent on the appearance of happiness or being well put together.

Note: I am not writing this because I feel that people are "lying to me," I am just realizing more and more that our cultural norm is to just "keep your mouth shut" and never let anyone see your hardships. Of course, this is true of a non-Christian culture to the upmost degree--people do not want to be seen as weak, they want to be seen as powerful and successful and competent. In a Christian realm, one would hope to see people who realize that they cannot be powerful, successful, and competent without the abilities that God has implanted within us. Our spiritual gifts. Our previously given positions created before the beginning of time.

And even with Jesus, we FAIL. Utterly. With brokenness. Even with 110% dedication.

Each day, there are things I forget; things I disregard. This shows my humanity, my lack of deity, my imperfections, my flaws, my need for a Savior.

I think that truth and being accepting of the truth and expecting the truth is a way to break down this barrier between we as the followers of Christ and others. We have to listen. We have to love. We have to speak truth. We have to listen and accept as the truth is spoken to us. The way we accept truth will either A) encourage more truth or B) discourage less truth. If we can't be real with others, they certainly can't be real with us, so that is the first barrier. The second barrier: we have to encourage others to be real with us. We must be gentle with them, just as Jesus has been gentle with us.

This is a way to connect to another person's "soul." To reach that inmost being.

To help.

Be honest with yourself.

Be honest with others.

Respect others and appreciate their honesty. . .because if someone tells you the truth, they are beginning to PUT TRUST IN YOU. They are beginning to value your opinion. God may be able to use you in this person's life because you are truly connecting with one another.

I pray for these opportunities for myself at work. I pray to be able to be open and honest with others; in turn, encouraging them to do the same with me.

Here I am preaching to my own choir.

We are stewards.

We are entrusted.

I am a member of a Great Body.

Love.

Honesty.

Truth.

Listening.

Serving.

Jesus.

Lord, help me.